"Why do South Asians normalize marriage with gender-based violence?"
Domestic violence is a pressing issue that affects numerous societies worldwide, and South Asia is not immune to this problem. Unfortunately, this problem has been normalized to such an extent that people do not realize it when they are perpetuating it. Regardless of its form, domestic violence is unacceptable, and we must discuss and address it openly. In South Asian societies, women often face violence within their own homes, which is a sad reality. The belief that domestic violence is a spouse's right is sickening, and women deserve to live with dignity both inside and outside their homes. To bring change, we need to shift our language, thinking, and gender norms. One of the reasons for the normalization of domestic violence is the conditioning of girls from a young age. Parents often refer to their daughters as "parayadhan" or someone else's wealth, which teaches girls that their worth is dependent on their ability to serve their husbands and families well. This kind of thinking is damaging and reinforces gender stereotypes that promote violence against women. We need to challenge these harmful beliefs and work towards creating a society that values gender equality and respect for all individuals, regardless of their gender.
In many cultures, it is a common belief that the responsibility of disciplining a girl falls on the male members of the family, typically the father or brother. This belief raises the question of why women are not taught to live with dignity both inside and outside the house. It is disturbing that domestic violence is often considered a spouse's right, which is a practice that everyone should condemn. Although we may have changed our language and gender norms, domestic violence remains a deeply rooted issue that perpetuates internalized patriarchy. This problem is often associated with marriage, but it is important to remember that any form of violence is unacceptable, and it is everyone's responsibility to address and put an end to it.
When a child grows up watching their mother being subjected to violence by their father, the trauma of normalized misogyny can have lasting effects that extend to their relationships with others, including their partners and friends. Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's beliefs and behavior, and the normalization of violence in our upbringing is a significant issue that needs to be addressed. The resistance that has been instilled in people supports a never-ending cycle of violence, which is a serious problem. We must remember that anger or any other circumstance can never justify violence in any form, and human rights must always come first in any relationship. It is our responsibility as a society to break this cycle of violence and promote healthy relationships based on mutual respect and dignity for all individuals.
I have witnessed situations where men advise women to speak out against domestic violence, but when women express their discomfort and gather with other women to discuss their issues, these men try to downplay and generalize their concerns. It is also common for men to defend themselves by saying that men can also suffer from domestic violence. While it is true that some men may also be victims of domestic violence, it is essential not to deflect attention away from the fact that women are the most common victims. By doing so, we ignore the problem of domestic violence for both genders. Many people try to justify domestic violence in some cases, instead of accepting responsibility and deeply apologizing for it, which is regrettable. We need to acknowledge that domestic violence is unacceptable in any form and hold the perpetrators accountable, regardless of their gender. It is time to stand together and work towards creating a society where everyone can live free from violence and fear.
Domestic violence is a pervasive issue that not only affects spouses but also children, the elderly, and other family members. The normalization of this kind of behavior is alarming and needs to be confronted. Unfortunately, there are several common sayings used to trivialize domestic violence, such as "When a cow provides the milk, the milkman should bear the pain of the cow's kick" or "She must have done something to provoke him." These kinds of statements perpetuate the myth that domestic violence is the victim's fault. This behavior is not limited to one household or community, and it is time to stop normalizing it. However, victims often hesitate to speak out about the abuse they suffer because they fear being judged or ostracized by their community. They worry that others will backbite and dominate them if they talk about their experiences. Creating a safe and supportive environment for victims to come forward and seek help is essential. We need to end the cycle of domestic violence and protect the human rights of every individual, regardless of gender or age.
The issue of domestic violence is often viewed through a gendered lens, with the focus primarily on women as the victims. However, this ignores the fact that men can also be victims of domestic violence. Unfortunately, society often does not take domestic violence against men seriously, and they are not given the same support as women. In addition to this, it is disheartening to see that in many cases, women do not support other women who are victims of domestic violence. This can be due to power dynamics and the normalization of domestic violence, which has led to the belief that it is acceptable for a man to abuse his wife. This perpetuates a cycle of violence and needs to change. It is important for everyone to recognize that domestic violence is not acceptable, regardless of gender, and to work towards creating a society where all individuals are safe and free from violence
Domestic violence is so deeply ingrained in our society that even law enforcement can be desensitized to it. It is imperative that we hold perpetrators of domestic violence accountable for their actions. Society has conditioned young girls to believe that their sole responsibility after marriage is to make their husbands and in-laws happy. Women are expected to apologize and compromise without question. This further strengthens the husband’s control over the wife and intimidates women who are experiencing abuse. Judges and lawyers may sympathize with the man, perpetuating a culture of victim-blaming. The societal pressure to conform to traditional gender roles has led to the normalizing of violence against women, perpetuated by the notion of the "alpha male." Marriage is often a trap of suppression, with issues such as dowry torture, domestic violence, bullying, and marital rape going unaddressed. However, by educating our mothers and empowering them to value women's individuality, we can establish a new definition of feminism that supports gender equality and safety for all.
In South Asian societies, domestic violence remains a pressing issue that demands immediate attention. The normalization of violence against women is alarming, and we must transform our way of thinking and speak about it. Parents hold the key to building a future generation that values equality, respect, and dignity for all. Our hope is to establish a society where domestic violence is neither accepted nor normalized. We acknowledge the resilience and bravery of women whose struggles have paved the way for a better world. Their ongoing fight for justice and equity inspires us all to join hands and eradicate domestic violence from our societies.