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Unseen chains

"Unseen chains"

Published On : 2016-10-20
Posted by : Shilpa Lamichhane
Category : Experiences
Category : Adolescent Girls
Category : Health and Development
Category : Young People
Category : Menstruation
Category : Concurrent issues
Category : Gender and advocacy

“Daughter, come and help me with the household chores, a lot of relatives will be visiting us for tika”, my mom requested me as well as ordered me at the same time. My father and his friends were playing a popular card game called “marriage” next to my room. At the very moment, my brother all dressed up came to mother and said, “I am going to my friend’s house to play cards and will probably stay overnight.” Without a slightest restrain, he was allowed to leave. Mother and I went to the kitchen to do the duties that we were born to do.

This is the scenario that every person with a typical family can relate to. The society has superimposed us with duties and responsibilities that cannot be reasonably justified. Why should my brother who is couple of years younger than me allowed to stay with his friends while I should indulge myself in a boring household works? This very thought started a nuclear war within my heart with self questioning and self reasoning. I further wondered why I am put on restriction mode for 5 days every month during my menstruation. Is it my fault that I bleed? Why does this paradoxical society which devotedly offers the blood of animals to mighty goddesses and celebrates its purity and holiness renders a woman impure when she bleeds.

Why can’t I talk freely and visit my male friends of childhood now? Weren’t they always boys or the gender issues comes up only when girls hit teenage. I then suddenly realized this society which voices for gender equality won’t back out to pass comments when I dress up above my knees. Should I dress to please them or myself?

All these separate but very much related aspects of my life made me feel how much we are bounded by unseen chains of the society. The real chains may go through our skin and hurt physically but these unseen chains that our parents and society put upon us destroys our emotional state of living. Today our parents put us in unseen chains; later our in-laws and husband will do the same. Where is it that we can live our life then? Why a girl must continue to be hurt by unseen chains?

Though we women enjoy theoretical importance of gender equality, our life is no better than ancient time when a female was regarded as a property with no rights. We don’t have any influence on family decisions. We rarely get chance to speak our minds in community and we can rarely create a political influence.

 

The birth of a female child is not yet celebrated with joy as that compared to a male child. The curtailment of freedom of women in matters of education, public appearance and decision making rights has hindered a lot on overall growth of a woman. No matter how much people advocate that the constitution has rendered woman and man equal ; unless we cut down the unseen chains that restricts us from doing things that we want and compels us to do things that we don’t want, our society won’t be a better place for us. These chains must be broken so that we can hold our head high and live without fear.


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Visible Impact

Visim envisions creating visible impact on lives of every girl, every woman and every youth by unleashing the social and economic leadership of girls, women and youth through beneficiary-partnered innovative interventions.