Archana Nepal
The word “Cheli” means a lot in Nepali society. What is Cheli? Cheli means a daughter or a girl. She is worshipped here as a goddess. She is respected, loved, and cared for. She is given everything she needs. She is never tortured. She never has to sacrifice anything for others. She can go to work freely without carrying the tension about her family. She can go on a trip alone. She can enjoy herself and go on an evening walk alone. She doesn’t have to feel uneasy while traveling in local buses. She is never questioned about how she is dressed. She is never harassed. She is never raped. She is always treated like a goddess.
Did you feel something weird while reading these sentences? I don’t know how you felt, but while writing, I was shivering and asking for forgiveness with God because I was writing something that is absolutely the biggest lie a girl could ever say to anyone. Nothing there WAS TRUE, IS TRUE, and WILL BE TRUE. Pardon me if you got angry with the words “WILL BE TRUE,” because this is all I believe. I bet about this, and I will be the first person to be very, very happy if I lose this bet ever.
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What could be the reason? A man? OR a woman? Don’t you think we all are responsible for this? Even as a woman, we don’t leave a chance to insult or prejudice another woman. We compare her but never try to understand her. A girl will never ask to be treated as a goddess. She will never ask to be kept on top of everything. She only asks for equity. As a woman, I don’t even ask for equality. I need equity, and that should be my right and given to me without asking.
Being a woman, I have been harassed. I am working and taking care of my family; I am sacrificing all my dreams. I fear going home alone at night. I always get questioned about my dresses. Why is this happening to me? Is this because I am a girl? Or is this because I am weak? Or is this because I exist? Maybe every girl asks this question of herself, and unfortunately, she never gets any answer, not even a hint.
I don’t blame only men but all human beings for all this. Like a sack of potatoes contains a few rotten ones, this earth has a few rotten humans who don’t understand that women are also human. Women have equal importance like everyone. She doesn’t need to sacrifice everything; she doesn’t want to get raped; she doesn’t want to be questioned for her existence. When I said I don’t blame only men but all human beings, I wanted you to force your brain to retrieve the story from your past when both men and women were the causes for your pain.
If you want examples, then look around and observe. See, there’s an example. A group of youngsters is stopping a girl and harassing her. Look, look, there’s a girl too in their group. Do you want another example? Let’s find another one. Let’s search. Look, I found another one. An old woman is scolding another woman for not washing dishes before going to the office. It seems that the old lady is her mother-in-law.
We ourselves made disrespecting woman, harassing woman, keeping her behind everything as normal, which is not normal. If it was normal, then she would never complain. It’s always like this. Abusers always abuse and victims always allow abusers to abuse. I believe all the victims are equally responsible because they never tried to stand up for themselves. They never questioned back. They never believed that they were strong enough to fight for themselves. If you want to win then fight. Fight until you win. Fight for your rights, fight for justice, fight to inspire others. Don’t expect others to treat you right but what you can do is be capable of making others respect you, loving you, and caring for you. Don’t stay back because you are a woman but always go forward because you are human and you’re capable.