Nitya Shah
Domestic violence is not a one-sided tragedy. While the narrative often centres on women as victims, there exists a hidden, agonizing reality: many men are subjected to relentless abuse at the hands of their wives and sometimes even their in-laws. This blog is a call to acknowledge those untold stories, challenge our cultural assumptions, and ignite a collective demand for empathy and justice.
The Tragic Atul Case from Bengaluru
Halfway around the world, a devastating narrative unfolded in Bengaluru, India. Atul Subhash, a 34 year old software engineer, found himself embroiled in a bitter and toxic marital dispute that spiralled out of control. Married in 2019 and separated for years amid a gruelling custody battle over their four year old son, Atul’s life was gradually consumed by allegations of harassment, financial extortion, and a distorted interpretation of domestic violence laws.
In the final, unbearable act of despair, Atul left behind a 24 page document and an 81 minute video recording a heart wrenching testament to his suffering and the unyielding pressure from his wife’s side of the family. Among his grievances was the shocking claim that his in-laws demanded a settlement of ₹30 million as a condition for granting him visitation rights. Overwhelmed by humiliation and isolation, Atul’s anguish culminated in his tragic suicide on December 9, 2024. His death sparked widespread discussions about the perils of a judicial system that, at times, seems skewed by societal biases and oppressive norms.
Hidden Scars and Cultural Barriers
In this case reveals a brutal truth: the wounds of domestic violence run deep, regardless of gender. Atul’s story is a stark illustration of how societal and familial pressures can coerce a man into submission, leaving him with scars that are as invisible as they are indelible.
Men are conditioned from a young age to be stoic, to “tough it out,” and to never show vulnerability. When a man becomes a victim, this toxic ideal not only silences him but also intensifies his isolation. Instead of receiving support, he is often met with ridicule or disbelief, a double betrayal by both his abuser and society itself. These stories force us to confront the uncomfortable truth that domestic violence is not confined to a single gender or a single story. The abuse of men by their wives and the collusion of family members in perpetuating that abuse is a human rights crisis demanding urgent attention. It challenges us to dismantle outdated stereotypes and to build a support system that listens, believes, and acts without prejudice.
To the men suffering in silence: your pain is real, your courage in speaking out is transformative, and you deserve a life free from fear. The path to healing begins with acknowledging your suffering and demanding accountability from those who perpetuate these cycles of violence.
A Call to Action
If you or someone you know is enduring domestic abuse, please know that help is available. Breaking the silence is the first step toward healing. Let’s come together to challenge the stigmas that keep victims isolated and to build communities where every cry for help is met with compassion and swift action.
By sharing their stories— the tragic end in Bengaluru—we confront the hidden epidemic of domestic violence against men. It is not a tale of weakness, but one of resilience in the face of cruelty. It is time to rewrite the narrative and create a future where every home is a sanctuary, and every victim, regardless of gender, is heard and helped.
Domestic violence against men is a harsh reality that we must not ignore. The courage to tell these stories is a call for systemic change—a call for a society that embraces vulnerability as strength and stands united against all forms of abuse.