BY: GARIMA
Every morning, before the rest of the family wakes up, she is already busy. She prepares breakfast, packs lunch boxes, sweeps the house, boils tea, and makes sure everyone leaves home on time. By the time she finally sits down with her own cup of tea, it is often cold. Nobody applauds her or calls her hardworking because this routine has become so normal that it is almost invisible. It is simply seen as what women are expected to do.
Ironically, when a man cooks one meal or helps with household chores, the reaction is often completely different. Family members praise him, photos are taken, and social media captions celebrate him as a caring husband or son. While appreciating shared responsibility is important, it also reveals an uncomfortable truth: work done by women every single day is often taken for granted, while the same work done occasionally by men is treated as extraordinary.
This pattern begins much earlier than adulthood. In many Nepali households, girls are introduced to household responsibilities from a young age. They are asked to wash dishes, help in the kitchen, or care for younger siblings, often under the belief that these skills will prepare them for the future. Boys, meanwhile, are more likely to spend their free time playing or studying without similar expectations. If a boy helps with chores, he is praised for being responsible. If a girl does the same every day, it is simply considered her duty. [Text Wrapping Break]
As women grow older, the responsibilities only increase. Many pursue higher education and full-time careers, contributing equally in workplaces as doctors, teachers, nurses, bankers, or public health professionals. Yet after returning home, another workday begins. Meals need to be prepared, children need attention, elderly family members require care, and the household must continue to function. This unpaid labor, often called the “second shift,” is rarely recognized despite demanding significant time and energy.
Marriage often adds another layer of responsibility. Women are expected to care not only for their own families but also for their husband’s family, balancing relationships, traditions, and household management alongside paid employment. When husbands participate in these responsibilities, they are frequently described as “helping” their wives. However, caring for one’s own home and family should not be viewed as assistance; it is a shared responsibility that belongs equally to both partners.
Even in old age, many women continue serving others. They cook during family gatherings, care for grandchildren, and remain the people everyone depends on. Meanwhile, older men are more likely to enjoy retirement and receive care from others. After decades of unpaid work, many women still rarely hear someone ask a simple question: “Are you tired?”
Recognizing unpaid care work is not about diminishing men’s contributions. It is about acknowledging the invisible labor that has sustained families for generations. Change begins with small actions: raising sons and daughters with equal responsibilities, appreciating everyday efforts regardless of gender, and understanding that a home is built through shared work. When we value care and work equally, we move one step closer to a society where no woman’s lifelong efforts go unnoticed.
