BY MABI
I can often tell you from personal experience that a typical Nepali conversation, especially when you run into someone after a long time (coincidentally, not planned), starts with: “Kasto motayeko!” or “Kasto dublyayeko!”
Why is this normal? Why do we treat someone’s body like a conversation starter? And if you try to set a boundary, they quickly defend themselves with:
“Oh, I was just concerned.” Concerned? Really? Concerned from the person who’s never messaged, never checked in, and just happened to bump into you after ages?
Where were you when I was binge – eating from stress?
Where were you when I got diagnosed with PCOS?
Where were you when my hormones were out of whack and I barely recognized myself in the mirror?
These are the questions that swirl in my head whenever I see people body shaming others in the name of “care.”
This obsession with body commentary isn’t limited to catch-ups it’s everywhere. Just the
other day, I experienced it again on a public vehicle. You know how chaotic our public micros can get—two seats magically become three, and whoever ends up as the third is
barely seated. One afternoon, a woman in her 40s squeezed into the seat beside me. She hadn’t even fully settled when a man – clearly someone she knew – blurted out loudly: “Motayepaxi kasari attixa ta!”
Can we talk about the audacity here?
And right after that loud comment, he went off on how she could lose weight through
exercise, cycling, and dieting. I was stunned.
Bro, do you even know her health issues? Her hormone levels? Her struggles?
I don’t know why are we so quick to give unsolicited advice without knowing the full story.
If you’re really concerned, why don’t you have a deeper conversation? Ask what’s going on.
Sit with your people. Understand their crisis, their emotional health, what led to this phase of weight gain or loss. Why not be a good listener, if you truly care?
Truth is, anyone who’s gained or lost weight already knows it. You don’t need to announce it to the world. So maybe, next time you meet someone – ditch the judgment and try something better: may be, “How’s life?”
Cause, You never know what someone’s carrying behind their smile